the winter's spirit

I don't find any more magic in television.  Every thing I watch is, if not in youtube is mostly online.  TFC might be produced by ABS-CBN but it's easy to access their online content.  The downside is their movie library.  Would it be too much to showcase films of the past?  I know I'm showing my age.  But it's hard to relate to the genre of the young.  These young people don't even know the long and arduous process of typing essays in a typewriter. Plus they're reared on smartphones and touch screens while I grapple with social media. 

Social media is addicting but I don't post too much.  I reckon it's better that way.  They have to dig deep to see my little girl.    If they want to communicate they could message me direct rather than comments on a post.  Or as Jenny says, you could choose favorites. Favorites? Does it occur that we could actually have favourites? 

Amiss

Was it deliberate that I didn't post an entry in October and November when it suddenly became so nippy.   I had a cough and cold at the tailend of October and after having a battle with the elements, my schedule became so depressing.  I never felt so down.  People are also mean and power-hungry.  They act as the main protagonist not only in their dramas but other people's as well.

So, quo vadis to the high and mighty.  Karma catches up with arrogance.  Just wait.

 

random stuff I like

I like people who are humble, those with humanity and those who help me lift at work or anywhere. 

 I don't mind young individuals with ambitions but in the real sense of the word, not rushed, taking their time until one is ripe for the picking.  So many people are in a hurry to be promoted even sometimes they simply are too raw and would want nothing more but just push pens and hide in a corner office. 

The most genuine, helpful people  I know are not the managers at work but the salt of the earth, hardworking, conscientious professionals who are so kind.  There's this one person who has the instinct to set aside his earnings and invest his money in fine endeavours.  He's kind of sometimes exist on noodles, spending  less on food, with such high instinct to save and invest.  I don't want to be as extreme but I have to try to save a little for the future. 

I like those who discuss culture and politics.  Politicians actually decide how we are going to live.  Brexit concerns finance and economics, it's not creating a nirvana for the melanin-challenged souls. The amount of hate and revulsion that exist amongst people is mind-boggling.  Is that from upbringing?  I don't know. 

I believe in diversity.  We enrich our lives by hobnobbing with people from other countries.  Sometimes we're disappointed as we have certain expectations about others.   But other times, in my case, I just observe and get a feel of the situation. There are new things to learn and discover every day. When we learn, it makes us better human beings. 

early September

Going to Kensington Palace on a nice day in early September was a highlight of my month.  That was cool, breezy weather, not too hot nor too cold. I could feel the essence of Hyde Park.  I feel like doing my exercises.  But I made huge strides on my step count, as walking for most days is my only form of exercise. 

Princess Diana, is a cautionary tale of marrying too young.  I read about her affairs. Was she in essence, always heartbroken?  She is just a figment of history for millenials.  A blur in time, remembered as a tragic figure who lent her name to causes as obscure as Land Mines and as controversial as HIV awareness.  Her sons now are kick-ass individuals who fly helicopters and spearhead the Invictus Games. In Prince Harry's case, who fought in wars and saw action in the battlefield, in addition to continuing her legacy in her chosen charities.  My friend Joy brought me to see her dresses in May. I'm so grateful for  that experience. I'm thinking of going to her garden again this Autumn.

Now, the weather is colder, the proper winter is in the reckoning. 

"Why you're so upset, you don't even know her"

Twenty years.  It has been a long time.  Are we going to Hyde Park and Kensington Palace?  Maybe in the next few days?

Perhaps it was the radiance on her wedding day which captured people's imagination.  She looked so beautiful.  My childhood from the age seven was about a glimpse of her from newspapers and "not even " glossy magazines.  

Magazines in the Philippines in the 80's were mostly newsprint that one buys in the sidewalk.  But we had a monthly supply of Good Housekeping from America (God Bless my godmother!), which sometimes feature a few photo shoots of Princess Diana and her family. Newsweek and Time magazines also provided news on the Royal Family, so we read and were updated. The pictures they painted was such a fairy tale.  

Then as early as like 1987 (or was it '88?), rumours were surfacing about cracks in the marriage. I even played a puzzle game (based on an American game show) with my classmates sophomore year in high school just to assuage myself that yes, fairy tales do come true.  

Of course I was a fool, relationships and marriages are hard work.  People who thought they were in-love in the beginning then discovered they have nothing in common, separate.  What chances do arranged marriages have for bliss and longevity? (Although I had a discussion in Singapore with a colleague about her happiness and contentment on her arranged marriage. Really?). 

So, Princess Diana's union with the Prince of Wales fell apart. I concluded he was a fool for enticing a 20-year old into a world of heartache. After that I just wanted Princess Diana to find her joy.  If it was another union or working on her charities, so be it.  She auctioned her dresses for a cause, that was very kind of her, to give of herself to others.  

When she died in an accident, I was bawling, perhaps the only celebrity who made me so sad.  I cried for her youth and her potential to find comfort and serenity.  But she was ever so brave for taking the cause of Land Mines.  I didn't even knew about land mines before she pushed that issue into the forefront. 

Despite her soft voice and ideal family, I find Kate Middleton features a bit too sharp. She doesn't have the delicate charms of Princess Diana. She has a degree from Uni, masters in history of art.  She should be relatable. Plus her mom's company Party Pieces is so convenient for my daughter's birthday parties as well.  But I couldn't dissect any resonance.

While Princess Diana was the manor born, did not even study for a degree and yet she was the one who could project charisma.  Maybe it was the clothes she wore but I reckon it's the age of social media and the internet.  There are a lot of celebrities in these modern times. Reality television like TOWIE, Love Island et al has catapulted a lot of unknowns into front pages of Hello! magazine.

But then they are the Royals  (ceremonial, ribbon-cutting purposes) -- magazines, newspapers and websites would find them newsworthy, whether it's having their photographs taken in their tour of Commonwealth nations or the choice of school for their children. Although I haven't seen any outpouring of grief in the scale of the Diana funeral in the 20 years since her death.  Not even Michael Jackson nor the Queen Mother.  

So why did I get so upset when she died when I didn't even know her? Because, my dear Prince William, she had the allure of an angel? Or my life was so boring compared to her headline-grabbing session at the gym? I don't know, she just did and she still does after two decades. Despite the mean things trolls say about her.  Well, trolls, sorry, you don't have as much impact with your dead-end lifestyle.

my love from the star ph

It has been such a joy viewing My Love from the Star, the Philippine remake/adaptation. It was such a heartwarming love story.  I've not really been a connoisseur of Korean drama/comedy series during the past 15 years.  Although I was such a regular viewer from 2000 to 2002, prior to Youtube and before K-dramas popularity exploded in the Philippines.  I still don't follow them now and the actors I used to watch are now older and would probably be playing support roles.

But since I have to play background shows/vlogs when I do chores like ironing, folding or packing for work.  I chanced upon the first episode of My Love from the Star from GMA network.  The last time I embraced a drama series was Judy Ann's Huwag Ka Lang Mawawala and I only watch Judy Ann Santos and no one else's.  I read the headlines of the young stars of Philippine show business but I don't watch any of their programs. I wonder how they sound.   

But since English Only Please, I don't mind Jennylyn Mercado and her films and Sarah Geronimo (although I only saw her movies with Gerald Anderson, that's it). 

The concept of My Love from the Star (or You from Another Star or You Who Came from the Stars, Korean-English translations be damned) is about an alien (Matteo Domingo) stuck on Earth for 300 years (400 years in the original version) and about to leave Earth in three months when he crossed paths with a high-strung, self-absorbed actress (Steffi Chavez) as neighbor. Aliens or immortality are a  kind of creepy concept.  But it's something different, much like Superman and Lois Lane. 

The alien in the GMA version is Gil Cuerva, 21, no prior acting experience and  (owner of such beautiful, luminous skin) paired with someone (Mercado) with a few Best Actress trophies displayed in her gorgeous house.  And ta da .... they had chemistry.  They were believable as a couple.  I've read tweets and yes, age is just a number, the nine-year age gap is not apparent through the magic of make-up?   For a newcomer, Gil Cuerva's  acting is actually viable.  He could project and his presence registered well with his emotions.  I didn't expect a Piolo Pascual or a Jericho Rosales level of camera nuances. But the young man could actually pursue acting.  

I've seen a few actors (hyped by machinery) project with a lot less muster.  They try to cry, to deliver punch lines but it's still a vacuous enterprise. (Steffi Chavez  said it well in her critique of an usurper, "umiiyak na iyan ha, pero wala akong ma-feel"). Jennylyn played it big in the first few episodes and then settled down and delivered the goods.  I don't know with other actresses her age but she has amazing skills and she could soar further in her career without an FHM magazine title attached to her image.  I love her outfits in the series.  Kudos to the stylist. And the set designers, you know only the rich could afford those neighbouring condominium units. 

Joyce Bernal is good with kilig.  Kilig rules Philippine mainstream showbiz since the black and white era (so annoying). I know it was a throwback (more than a decade later from its release when I saw it) but Joyce Bernal made Judy Ann-Onemig pairing work.  Or Regine-Robin.

 The cinematography in the series was quite passable, the Korean version had all the technology of course. But the remake's  special effects weren't too deflating.  Something might have just been amiss with Gabby Eigenmann hanging from a building or Jennylyn flying in the air. But I'll let that go.

With the writing, there were only a few bits and pieces from Matteo's past lives.  I have to re-view an episode on how he acquired vast track of real estate gems.  How does the lead male character maintain his assets when one dies every ten years? It didn't explain who would inherit his properties by the time he leaves Earth.  Maybe the writers just ran out of time. And the ending did not explain anything (except for the kilig!).  I read the Korean drama recaps and I realise that logic is hard to explain in the world of make-believe.  But whatever loopholes, this is still a feel-good story, very light and soft, makes you forget about the mess in the world. 

for the really fun part!

My daughter's two birthday(5th) parties have been exhausting but it was illuminating.  The first one was with her school friends. These are the kids that will form the early part of her childhood.  The ones she will really remember. Although we will miss Ollie (Oliwier), his family are going back to Poland for good and he's our neighbor as well. 

The second party were with her parents' friends -- Godfather Paul, mum's colleagues and friends for more than a decade, family -- tito Babie, for the first time in London. 

For the first party, she loves running with all her friends. She sees them every day at school ( except weekends, obviously) and having them at our abode (with the mums and one dad) was like sharing our innermost secrets.  It was hard to handle a bunch of five-year olds. Some kids were not in the mood to play musical chairs.  Who wouldn't want to play musical chairs?  It was the fun portion of all past parties.  

This is the party I wouldn't give up.  Maybe I'll hold it a day before her birthday next year, a leeway before every Saturday party.  Or collate both parties into one?  The Saturday party, two days later, was dampened by the early rain.  Nobody moved outside, scared to get wet and my other rooms were too small.  Well, anaesthetists (the hubby's consultants), parties are hard to navigate specially if one has young kids. 

Who do we talk with in every gathering we attend? Maybe one or two people?  We got into Tyrone's fancy digs the next day at the Golf Club. The highlight was waiting for our turn to go get our food. There was free wine but the others have to buy their drinks. I didn't know a soul. I ran after the daughter most of the time. She just turned five. 

more thoughtful with a name

July is always hectic as it's my daughter's birthday. Our June (that's our birthday month) was kind of mild compared to our dearest "two birthday parties" month. 

I got really nice presents (examples above) on my birthday. At 43, it never gets too old to receive presents.  There's a small cake and sweet alone time for me.  I learned lessons not to order too much pancakes at Coffee Affair, my daughter could never finish a plate. 

And I'm trying to find  the logic behind greeting someone on social media outlets or direct messaging service with only  "happy birthday, " without mentioning a name.  I find it tearful when someone writes only "happy birthday" rather than "happy birthday, mia." It's always more thoughtful with a name. No matter how many emojis follow the words, the receiver knows it means she's not that important or you're a tiny bleep in his radar. Some people click "like," only with no comment. Even worse? You bet.  It would have been better not to greet at all or click anything. 

To each his own.  They might say, at least they greeted you, others may surmise.   But shouldn't they know your name? What's the point of those empty words? This year, I went out of my way to buy a card & chocolates (and leave it on her desk) for a colleague.  I greeted her as well on her way to work. There was no acknowledgment whatsoever.  Even if it's only a pound, that card cost money. So with that, I totally skipped greeting her on Facebook.  Or messenger. Or text. Even if I've known her for more than a decade, I got the message. No more wasting of my time.  

On my daughter's birthday and on Saturday the 15th, the guests, even those that didn't make it to the shindig had been so generous, way too generous.  And these are people that I barely knew.   My daughter's classmates parents for example. It means there are gems in unexpected places.  Even if my little one didn't get anything, the presence at the party is more than enough.  She was really happy. 

birthday month done

We went to Brighton on the first of June, that's the hubby's birthday. I can't do photo shoots set with the sea, stones and the ships as background.  I look so bloated, too much carbs in a regular Filipino diet.  The water at the beach was cold, Britain is typically cold nine months of the year.  It's something for the little one to enjoy.  Maybe we'll go back August, try the water and see.

My birthday was blah as per my usual preference.  Unless it's a weekend where I'm not limited to a six-hour window, I couldn't do much with the six hours of free time when the young daughter is in school.  I move like a tortoise which doesn't translate to increased productivity. But when it comes to presents, I've got another pair of trainers and Honey (not literally) reminded me about my crochet projects in mind by suggesting she wanted to give me a book to read and which made me think why not a beginner's guide to crochet as I'm still in the middle of On Beauty by Zadie Smith. 

But there's still magic being part of Gen X.  We didn't grow up with gadgets or even a PC.  The portable typewriter was the bomb.  I could have typed and typed and wrote articles.   Then I realise, well the generation of Rizal and Graciano Lopez Jaena did not even have pens. But they still turned out to be magnificent writers and have schools and streets named after them. 

Now, the social media people have a written and video platform and use it to spread negativity?  They should use the technology for good like volunteer for an uplifting cause or just be a nice person per se. 

adjective for me

I know there had been blatant terroristic attacks and a towering inferno in this dynamic city of London of late.  But being called weird by Bong infiltrates the consciousness.  Am I that bad? I do give and generate a lot of side eyes. I tend to hibernate a lot and distance myself from a lot of antagonistic vibes. I blank people out. I don't overshare on social media.  

There are words I particularly don't like.  A few Tagalog words I couldn't stand.

When I think of the Tagalog word "abot," my sense of space is near.  "Paki-abot, mo nga sa kanya."  In English, it becomes, "could you hand it to him/her?"  But when you're from a neighbouring unit, it's not near anymore.  You have to walk for the "abot" to occur.  What if I'm not there? Then you have to make "bilin."

In addition, the "I'll hand it to you, " sentence reminds me of "I'll hand in my essay."   There is also "I'll hand in my notice/resignation." It might have been a matter of preposition.  But essays with their corresponding sources and references really breaks me into parts.  That any words relating to its submission never fail to fill me with dread.  

Yes, Sir, I complicate things.  Not only is Life is Complicated a Hollywood movie title.  But we need to give our cerebrum a workout.  It is in thinking that we sharpen our minds.  Debates are the fulcrum of society. Name-calling or trolling a person speaks more about the troll than the one being trolled.  In this age of showing off in social media, it seems de rigeur to make people feel bad about themselves.  We. could all be nice.  But we'd rather not?  GGSS?

end of May blahs

Thanks for my friend Joy for the photo.  She paid for my ticket to Kensington Palace -- the museum part.  The palace is still an official royal residence where the young royals live (in luxury?) in comfort. I thrive in touring museums and galleries.  Or watch a lot of historical documentaries.

 Vlogs meanwhile are a new innovation.  Recorded, produced and edited by a singular content creator, they're quite eye-openers.  Those who vlog are mostly the younger generation.  Those in their teens and early twenties are old enough to be my kids, younger millenials born in the '90's.  The most subscribed vlogger in the Phippines is a teenager.  Maybe he strikes a chord with his fellow youngins, dance moves and all. 

The one I regularly watch, Say, was born when I was about to turn 17, the year Lea Salonga won a Tony as Kim in Miss Saigon.  Despite starting making videos at 19 and other vloggers usurping her number of subscribers, she still has a long way to go as a social media person.  She's tall and articulate.  Others are very "maka-masa," or project a holier-than-though image, hers is matter-of-fact.   Although age is not a barrier to earning money from all media (very Kris Aquino), young people are more likely to follow and subscribe to non-traditional platforms.  I don't say that because I don't have an instagram or I don't get snapchat.  But maybe because we don't have a telly in the bedroom.  I reckon, one television in our abode is enough.       I look at my phone and go from there.  Mobile phones can do anything these days

let's be kinder

 Human beings can't simply tolerate other human beings.  That is why these acts of cruelty occur.  We should be nicer to our neighbours.  We should embrace our differences.  We should chill when it's time to chill.

We should create our own path in the world.  We shouldn't be jealous of other people.  We shouldn't keep up with the Joneses.  

actions, reactions

It's very rudimentary.  Some people are nice.  Others are not.  I'm thinking these days that when we travel in Europe. I don't need to go to museums as I could feel the sense of the population in the zen of the moment.  I could observe behavior. I don't need to see artifacts of history. 

My work helps me interact with people of different nationalities. Others see my flat nose and dwarf like stature and it's serfdom all over again.  C'mon.

I believe we should be nice to each other. As karma is a bitch. It really is, so better say please and thank you. 

to look back, beyond

Do I sometimes wish I have instagram and living my life through the number of likes I get every single day? 

No.

I came of age when social media is non-existent.  We didn't even have a phone line.  So my means of communication is actually seeing my friends and relatives in the flesh.  After the undergraduate degree, it was so easy to lose track of a few significant people from school.  But there were always ways to correspond. I wrote letters.  Maybe I wrote a lot of crap.  I was young, there was no internet,  I had to buy books and magazines or go to the library.

These days, it's way too easy.  The acquaintances who knew me when I was seven or younger are just a click away. Ironically, I've become too complacent. Maybe it's time to reverse that trend a little bit.

📩📩📩

 

Survived the clock moving forward

We were in Belgium more than a month ago.  It was cool in Ghent, our hotel was cool. So were the artworks in the walls in our lodgings in Brussels.  The days were short and I forgot socks and tights for the  little one which made us walk the length of the streets looking for socks and tights shops.  Which reminds me that we should now consume the chocolates purchased at the time.  

The essence of travel is observation.  It's hard to walk pass thoroughfares. But there's always something new to learn.  Leaving the confines of school in the nineties and working in a different country, even with contemporaries who finished the same tertiary education, was such an eye-opener on schools and upbringing.  I couldn't relate to the colleagues and roommates.  We had the same degrees and yet something's amiss. I gravitated towards the libraries, in those days, 19 years ago in Singapore just to trawl the web.  Or just to read books.

  I didn't know what the roommates liked doing -- small talk?  Until now, I reckon it's still talking about nothing and everything -- discussing about investments? Boyfriends? 

It's hard to relate from my end, it's even harder with people from other cultures.  From those who have not seen and experienced the epitome of slums, the gap is wider.  What I've  noticed is that in RP,  the lower your income, the more obsequious you are to the higher strata of society.  In the British isles, it's more even-toned.  The workers need not fear raising their voices.  

But then all these gaps in work ethic, culture shifts, generational trends, don't really change the quest for our pursuits.  Others like to collect shoes or bags, I still enjoy writing.

spring and winter discourse

It has been cold from October to now.  It's hard to function in the outside world despite the many layers of clothing. Or inside, our energy bill makes me cry.  I really like some free time to do all the ironing. The pile of papers and laundry would make a stellar exhibit for Tate Modern.  

During the previous summer, I had an online argument with a Brexiter.  The US elections gave the chills.  I was disappointed that my so-called friend thinks Hillary is a worshipper of Satan and the world biggest crook.  But the majority and the electoral college deserve the result of every referendum and election.  I believe in the mantra of the reigning Miss Universe from Lille, diversity beats inclusivity. We should widen our beliefs and our views.  Then there wouldn't be hatred or just a mere blame culture. 

The terrorist attack in one of the world's most calming site at the Palace of Westminster may have ruined my sked of visiting the Tower of London or Westminster Abbey. It hurts every time there are atrocities occurring anywhere in the world.  People are so selfish in their mind sets.  Power is not be all.  

But maybe we could still head to Hampton Court. I've  been fascinated by Tudor History since the summer in Dona Maria street, nearly three decades ago.   I miss that street, we'll never be able to afford from that very commercial space ever again.  

Speaking of reading and history, my parents read a lot in their lifetime and yet my younger brothers never seem to get the knack for reading.  My mom should have had worked more with enhancing their school work and extra curriculars, never should she have gotten bored with parenting, inculcated in their system the love of academics. Maybe it was too hard to push those boys. I know having multiple children makes you one feel accomplished.  But what is Prince Harry going to do now that Prince William has kids who are nearest in line to the throne? Ok, there was Prince Arthur Tudor and Henry VIII and some other examples.  But it would have been nicer if my mom used flash cards for all children not just for me. 

still howling

Ok, so my primary bete noire, is people not texting me back or people completely ignoring my missed calls. (It would be nice to own a vinyl turntable). Sometimes, it's stress or a personality clash, or we don't feel like communicating with a particular individual. Or just like attending parties or events like a helicopter ride in Central London or the series of drinks after work bonanza, we're just not in the mood for a tete-a-tete.  But it doesn't hurt to have good manners.  Returning or ignoring calls is a basic reflection of one's upbringing.  It doesn't hurt to be nice. 

howling in the cold

I've been coughing for more than a month.  I blame the cold and the hard schedule of work-life balance. It's such a hectic pace leaving with very little time to read or even breath and survey the chaos and turmoil of the ton's attitude.  

If people don't like your company or find you abhorrent, then it's better to ignore their existence. Snob them for their high-fallutin, superiority complexes and sometimes annoying, grating millenial or generation x-er's better-than-thou attitudes.  Women are such bitches.  

The married ones with such difficult, "I wouldn't hang with you as we didn't go to the same high-school or you're not a common friend demeanour" husbands should let go of their anal-retentive phase and grow a pair.  The younger ones, colleagues who are old enough to be our children, are maybe more into pub crawls and boozy nights about town.  Both groups find you an inconvenient blockage to their lives, yet they're happy for your assistance during times of need.  There's one in the group that would help but only when it's convenient to her schedule, I just realised.

Another sets of lessons learned, anyway. It's knowing more about people in this day and age.  Do unto others. 

chapped lips

Politics has been such a disappointment in recent times.  The vote reflects the will of the people.  Voices blurt out that the media is biased towards liberal thinking.  But I reckon it's just because they think ---- the writers read before they can write.  They look at the issues and percolate their thinking to come up with such coherent thoughts.  If we don't read or watch any kind of discourses on issues, our mindset would become prejudiced, we won't become open-minded. 

At the tail end of 2016, I read a few history bits, reading a lot of Ambeth Ocampo and other historians.  I continue to do more reading this year.  I don't watch telly these days, not a single show.  Maybe I'll look at iplayer and see the documentaries.  History again. I read stuff on trivia, on politics of the past and of prominent women in recent past.  I read of Rizal, his women and his execution. I should read more.

Now as my lips are peeling, January weather kills and peels my lips bit by bit, I try to remain calm and cool despite the adversity of my anger.  Now, beauty sleep.  

making room

I can't download you tube on my old phone so I have to erase photos to make some room and let the device breath. 

older, just older

I know it's the New Year and I know it's childish to be angry at someone.  But I am and I consider it my luck.  Some people think so highly of themselves  that they think they're the most talented and the most amazing creature in  the universe. I hold a grudge in this day and age.  It's not so pathetic, it's just a way of life.  On that note, I have to sharpen my accent. The 'twang's not it.  Aaargh!