Friday, July 31, 2009

edgy scroll : quotes from ghosts of manila

Manila’s aura had had something of Baudelaire’s corpse-light glowing about it: existentially exotic, morally exotic, its legs raised by the pressure of its own putrefaction ‘comme une femme lubrique.’ Yet once here she found herself being ground down by the heat, the filth, the choking traffic, the Jollibees and Pizza Huts and Dunkin Donuts of it all. What national costume there was derived from Nineteenth century Spanish dress. What national cuisine there was merely played with Spanish and Chinese dishes. The handicrafts were not as good as those of Burma or Thailand and besides, who since the death of chinoserie in Europe wanted creaky furniture made of rattan or bamboo? Or unspeakable Madonnas standing in grottoes made entirely of lacquered seashells? Nothing had prepared her for the sheer unrelieved ugliness of this city, much of which looked like a parody of the grimmer parts of Milwaukee. Yes, that was it: that the faint traces of Europe had been swamped by the worst of Pepsicolonisation. --thoughts of ysabella bastiaan, a british diplomat daughter, an archaeologist uncovering Manila’s past.


For many of them, the Philippines was simply a place where people from the developed nations to empty out their seminal vesicles, much as their government looked at poor countries generally as good places in which to dump their toxic wastes. Out of this grew the image of Weimerian moral anarchy they half expected and more than half desired: of mothers implacably half expected and more than half desired; of mothers implacably spreading their own children’s legs that the rich might more easily center. The needle’s eye.
-- thoughts of sharon, ysabella’s boss at a fictional museum, an american who has lived in manila for more than half a decade.

Ghosts of Manila (random house, 1994), is a very articulate novel with vivid descriptions and big words. If JHP, who lived two thirds of the year in RP for decades, think of the country as the foreign characters of his book do, it’s kind of frightening to venture into more stinging western views of the chaos and disarray that encapsulate our fragile democracy. But an enlightened proclivity would conjure that not much difference separate the various ethnicity of the world. Culturally, there are differences. But intelligence is universal and not skin deep. So screw the biases.

slumbering

it has been almost a week without an entry. i’ve been asleep the whole time i was not making a dent in the labour force, internalizing my exhaustion and the catty stares from cranky mudgeons in various ways and processes. the flesh is weak. but the spirit, as the cliché illustrates, is not. but rather than float in the stew of the indolent slob, i am channelling creativity. As if. i can’t even draw a straight line. somehow i’ll have the sked, the chores, my sleeping pattern, the tv shows on sky planner and updating the blog regularly figured out and i’ll be able to breathe spontaneously and relax.

Daysleeper

(Buck/Mills/Stipe)

Receiving department, 3 a.m.
Staff cuts have socked up the overage
Directives are posted
No callbacks, complaints
Everywhere is calm

Hong Kong is present
Taipei awakes
All talk of circadian rhythm

I see today with a newsprint fray
My night is colored headache grey
Daysleeper, daysleeper, daysleeper

The bull and the bear are marking
Their territories
They're leading the blind with
Their international glories

I'm the screen, the blinding light
I'm the screen, I work at night

I see today with a newsprint fray
My night is colored headache grey
Don't wake me with so much
Daysleeper

They cried the other night
I can't even say why
Fluorescent flat caffeine lights
Its furious balancing

I'm the screen, the blinding light
I'm the screen, I work at night

I see today with a newsprint fray
My night is colored headache grey
Don't wake me with so much
Don't wake me with so much. The
Ocean machine is set to 9
I'll squeeze into heaven and valentine
My bed is pulling me,
Gravity
Daysleeper, daysleeper
Daysleeper, daysleeper, daysleeper

Sunday, July 26, 2009

my given sunday

it’s early morning. i’m terribly exhausted from the rigours of a workday. but i’m still figuring out how to best manoeuvre typing in front of a tiny monitor. i have lots of recorded telly shows yet to be seen. i’m wondering whether to watch the practice or ugly betty, or just skip television until after wembley. listening to the feature commentaries of the sound of music was a bust. the dvd is still covered in plastic wrap. i have e-mails to write and birthday cards to send, plus books to evaluate. but the chores comes first, or i'll be buried alive in the unforgiving pile of laundry and magazines.

as today is the second phase of wembley cup, i wish for more trains at the station and no more dashing avoiding the horses' ire.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

baby pics

to my mom with love.
thanks for the baby album.
after two long years,
it doesn't get any easier.

books, magazines, films,
red lipsticks, scrapbooks
reading, reading and reading
effervescence, good manners,
all mommy.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

crisp apple streudels

after a series of shifts at the mining site, i’m back in front of the screen all prepped up to conquer the pole-vaulting metaphors. i never fail to pine for the act of writing, especially when i’m caught in traffic of my unbridled chores. if only the assignments are as thought-provoking as the letters forming all my nuances. why do I have to construct the minutes of the last meeting when all my remaining free time are spent sleeping? but i'm left with nary a choice but to sit still and type, collate the data, replenish my personalized shorthand and divide the topics into decent divisional texts. will-power where art thou?

obviously when i'm in front of the computer screen, all i do is surf my heart out of the latest saga of certain this and that. the tv shows i’m following are recording too slow. i have not paid a visit to the cinema in months. a few movies have been deemed promising -- sunshine cleaning, bruno, the sixth harry potter film. is synocdoche, new york still showing? i want to see Oh My Girl with judy ann and ogie but it’s not flickering in the london klieglights anytime soon. although in these days of clutter and chaos, i should consider sky movies and some dvd’s that i haven’t even taken out of their plastic wraps for months, even years. but this is the time to chill and for raindrops and roses and brown paper packages tied up with strings, to listen to the commentaries of the classic sound of music with julie andrews and christopher plummer.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

conflating genres

in my day job’s professional organization’s newsletter, blogging was one of the main topics in the quarterly issue. the article had a wary tone on the subject of bloggers breaching the norms in confidentiality agreement that may occur in relaying messages in the networking sites. yes, blogging is a very cathartic exercise, an outlet of expression, to create something out of nothing, to examine the cherished existence and transform the parcels of a lifetime into somewhat literate words and paragraphs. but as my saying goes, talking shop is not that exciting, it's never dull either as it is an anthropological center, a melting pot of various entities and my colleagues are perhaps the hardest working people in the world. nonetheless, it's like any other zone, littered with protocols and sensorial to a few bits and bobs, especially proffering entries in a blog page.

on a subject that is far less interesting to all my people-person confidantes is tiger woods missing the cut at the Open. bummer. we don't usually see tiger struggle with bogeys and double-bogeys but he toiled and exerted in windy turnberry and ended up with nothing. next stop is hazeltine, on august 13-16. don't tell me that it's the same date as the pearl jam concert?

bearing witness to a concert of one of the hottest bands ever may probably be farthest from the thoughts of one crestfallen friend. i tried to encourage her to try to bury herself in books and magazines to get over her setback. i know reading a book or just reading, who cares if it's a crappy palimpsest, has been given a bad rap, an unfair assessment by extroverts from yonder and beyond the numbers of friends in facebook and others. but all my efforts would be for naught. the quirks would separate kin ships, some enjoy company, others like me wallow and kick up heels to imbibe the vigor of words through reading, through writing.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

abstract

it has been a hectic week. i can't even say i spent it all in the rituals of feverish errands and wrestling with the ice machine. the underhand tactics and devices of the powers that be is unrelenting, eviscerating to the frail flesh. no reprieve at all for the debilitated. at least there's the cursor for retributions, in the manner of witchcraft, in the ways of the underworld. empathy as described by the web dictionary is the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts or attitudes of another, is lost in the hierarchy. to transform into a fiend is merely an internal process. some forces are more powerful than time management. but there's no point ranting about trolls. they came, they saw, they stare at you point blank in the corridors as if they are interesting, happy people.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

don't stop 'till you get enough

when i was a kid i thought this song was an original theme song of john en marsha, i only realized it was a michael jackson's hit much, much later, probably i was already all grown up. this is a very danceable tune until you see michael move his hips in the video and you holler on top of your voice, why couldn't i dance like that?

Saturday, July 11, 2009

blends

along with mediterranean diet staples (moderate wine, little meat and lots and lots of fruits and vegetables), foremost in my thoughts this minute is my favorite tag of this blog page, the weather, a topic that is ever agitating, ever aggravating to the senses. a little of bit of drizzle, a bit of gathering of nimbus precipitate once in a week in the summer would be wonderful. but what is a week without checking this site? in the tropics, it was either rain or shine or a typhoon, not a weak storm but a violent, frenzied avalanche of wind and showers that highlights dearth and penury.

fine, i'll wear a coat.

but away with my picnic dreams in the park, i'm going to dance to the funky tunes. as a tribute to the king of pop, i'm going to attempt cavorting my hips to the hits of the jackson5, the jacksons, michael jackson and janet jackson. my party ( i ran for senior class governor in high school) strove to channel janet and her moves with escapade during our campaign rally. it's quite a relief that no video evidence in existence for those monumental youthful frolics.

Thursday, July 09, 2009

moshpit high

the temperatures has cooled down a lot from the boiling point of the last fortnight. there is a sputtering of sunshine in the cloudy skies. but crap, where was this weather during blur last week in hyde park? the moshpit was exhilarating. the music was great. but i was pissed off with the raging rays. drenched in soaring heat, my temper usually explodes when exhausted and dehydrated.

but as soon as damon albarn lights up the screen, my furious disposition vastly dissipated. clad in fred perry, blur reunited serenaded the crowd with hits after hits, beginning the set with she's so high, diving head on to the ferocious beats of boys and girls and most of the menacing and gorgeous signatures of their britpop heydays; beetlebum, end of century, there's no other way, tracy jacks, poposcene, for tomorrow, song 2, the universal. the heartwarming harmony tender bouyed the throng to a rousing paean of healing and romance whilst graham coxon's vocals to coffee and tv conjured a joyous feeling of profound affection, as if a rift did not drive the essex foursome apart. albarn was in magnificent form, his voice cracking when addressing the fans, in between joyous renditions of the elegant pop songs that defined an era. i'll always be an outcast and a prude. though my inhibitions weren't altogether shaken by the presence of audacious spontaneity.
c'mon. c'mon
love's the greatest thing.

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

gowns, sashes and more

whenever i get too deep in the prism of lackadaisical lulls, i usually check out a few romantic comedies in the dvd shelf. one romcom i've been drawn into over and over again in the past six months has been the katherine heigl starrer, 27 dresses. in all likelihood, i can now memorize every scene, every line. i was never really a bridesmaid or a maid of honor in my lifetime except once i was a bridesmaid of my mom's cousin in iloilo like 16 years ago. i'm not even sure liberty (the bride's name) had a clue who i was. the dress was attacked by rats as did my junior bridesmaid (some concept added to pad a wedding entourage) yellow gown and those three flower girl gossamer satins and laces.

the plot of 27 dresses is highly improbable. jane (heigl) is a career woman who works as an assistant for an outdoor equipment mogul ( george) played by edward burns and devotes her free time revelling in her role as a bridesmaid to her wide variety of friends. she's not only bridesmaid but she's sweet friend, the dependable confidante who assists the brides with their choices -- the gown, the cake, the registry, the rehearsal dinner. she's almost the wedding planner but not quite. in the opening scenes, jane's shuffles back and forth between two weddings in one night. who among us had two friends getting hitched in exactly the same time frame and in different venues and milieus? and who the hell gets asked to be a bridesmaid 27 times? unless of course you're a character in a fairy tale. "but fairy tales do come true it could happen to you,"  damn i'm now humming frank sinatra.

jane's younger sister tess, the flirtatious blonde epitome of every guy's affection, comes back into town and boom, george, jane's long time crush is smitten and another wedding is to be planned and conceptualized. however cyclops ( james marsden as wedding columnist kevin), is also in the picture offering a sprinkle of sparks, sparrings and conflict with his career-defining bridesmaid story. twists and complications are perpetually dealt very lightly and unfurl handily in romantic comedies. heigle shines as the bedraggled sister whilst judy greer's ebullient turn as best friend elicit applause. malin akerman (tess) is a revelation. but mostly i enjoy gazing at the dresses and i'm a bit enamored with feathery silk.

Monday, July 06, 2009

overhead smash

i know i sound like a pathetic loser being a sampras fan. but even now after all that the swiss player has achieved as the best player of all time, i still don't like roger federer. not even a little bit. i apologize to the facebook friends who are in the bandwagon. but sometimes i wonder, would the girls from dubai, jz and other members of his goat club would still be fans if all the fed ex could have managed were two slams like that win in wimbledon in '03 and one US Open in '04 then carve a niche as a perennial quarterfinalist or semifinalist or reach a final or two but not actually winning the big titles? it's quite a chore not to billow from our glory-hunting selves.

i was a sampras fan from the time he became the youngest US Open champion in 1990 when he served andre agassi off the court to that span in the early 90's he was outclassed by the elegant serve and volley style of stefan edberg, the heavy forehand of boris becker and the backcourt bashing of jim courier, to his years as world number one until his last match in flushing meadows in 2002. would i have been a fan even if he only won that US Open and devised a career path like michael chang? i think so. just look at my jun limpot folios.

but prior to sampras, there was macEnroe. tennis being an expensive sport should not be popular in the philippines. but due to the mileage it generates in the back pages of newspapers, it has propagated an extensive following in a developing country like RP. when i started reading the sports pages of tempo, i was like eight or nine, johnny mac was the number one player in the world with jimmy connors as the main rival. navaratilova and chris evert dominated the women's game. i rooted mainly for macEnroe so expectedly i was in snoozefest during the reign of ivan lendl as the world's best. a magnificent doubles player, johnny mac for more than a decade has put his mouth to better use as an outstanding commentator. he fills the air with substance in his annual wimbledon stint.

i read voraciously about tennis during the ascendancies of a few world number one's before sampras -- mats wilander, stefan edberg, boris becker, jim courier. i was glued to the sports pages when boris becker won wimbledon at 17 as well as michael chang replacing wilander as the youngest french open champion also at 17 in 1989. the world got excited when the rock star image of andre agassi came along. a classmate was a fan, try as i did to embrace the long-haired athlete, i didn't really like guys with earrings. then pete sampras entered the scene, outserving a few big names on his way for his first major title. it took him almost three years to attain another major success but pistol pete was always in the horizon, losing to goran in the 1992 wimbledon semis, losing to edberg in the final of the 1992 US Open.

at about the same time as sampras was about to play in his first wimbledon final, i was taking the exam to join the university paper. i passed the test but imagine my elation when sampras first won wimbledon and took his second US Open in 1993. a few years of good tennis followed, some of the stuff you can read in this page. i was awake at odd times of early morning to watch his matches during his prime in bacolod. during my year in singapore where i had roommates, i bought a tiny portable tv in order to watch the 1999 wimbledon final.

i received a copy of sampras autobiography today, two weeks after it was ordered from amazon. so my moments of scanning the indices of his bio at waterstones are over. unlike fed (who is blessed with no major injuries), sampras had his share of physical setbacks, he missed the aussie open in 1999 citing fatigue, paving the way for kafelnikov to thank him in his victory speech. he missed the US Open in 1999 due to a herniated disc, hours before his first round match with the promising marat safin.

sampras could have won the french open with his massive array of ground strokes but clay negates the power of his serve. according to page 201 of his book*, his weaker backhand shots were exposed by opponents hitting with high-bouncing balls as high backhand gives one-handed backhanders fits. i think he was not as lucky as federer when it comes to the red clay of roland garros and was too impatient to play defensive tennis. he had the chance in '96 when he reached the semis but blew it in catastrophic fashion against kafelnikov.

if roddick didn't bottle his chances on sunday, the outcome might have been different. we wouldn't have seen that extra long fifth set. at present, only nadal has beaten federer in a grand slam final. if murray had won over roddick, if nadal was able to defend his title, would the fed ex won? records are there to be broken anyway. although i disagree with becker regarding the depth of the men's game, with only three players --- nadal, djokovic, murray competitive enough to beat federer. who is going to be the next big star?

*Pete Sampras and Peter Bodo (2009). Pete Sampras: The Autobiography - A Champion's Mind. London: Aurum Press.

Sunday, July 05, 2009

off line mode

the wi-fi in the hotel is very sporadic. there one minute, gone the next, literally. a connection that lasts sixty seconds in essence is really not much. but still vital and intricate in the overall design of the universe. i could easily figure out when i'm talking shite.

as good wives, there are certain roles to fill in regards to duty and sanctity of vows. i could always be the death of a party in the middle of nowhere, amid a throng of strangers where even small talk is non-existent. but the mobile phone is there for the rescue as well as friends who didn't mind my nonsense while the inebriated background noises are in full throttle. there's the racial discourse. the issue of color is quite the thorn in cool britannia. the blatant divide, the superiority and inferiority complexes and the inability to integrate of the multi-cultural society is far from encouraging in this time and age. but as i observed when i genuflect between the tribal divide, it's just the pith and timber of giving our prejudices and biases a rest in order to achieve world peace. better said but not done nearly enough.

Friday, July 03, 2009

raging rays

it's july, the month of sun and rain in the northern hemisphere. i've been outside a lot the last few days, committing to running my own errands sans the much desired sombrero. i got sunburned last year in the beaches of sipalay and the marks are ever present to this day. as tropics born and bred, this is my weather, my light. my rationale is, the outside world could stare and stare but i'm going to seek refuge under the umbrella. i'm not into likas papaya and all that marimar, dyesebel, darna actress ( i prefer the well-mannered performers) type, i adore this color. since i'm already brown kayumanggi, the sun is there for phosphorescent, not for bathing and baking. my grade school years embossed an imprint of ultraviolet rays scare. as before it was between sun rays of one pm and and three pm, now it's from eleven in the morning and onwards. i was taught that seven to nine am sun is vitamin d. i still abide by that mantra inculcated by the grade five lectures not on hearsays heard though the gossip mill.

yesterday, for the blur concert, with the intense, unforgiving heat, i forgot my sunscreen and umbrella, rendering me a moany, whiny, angsty bitch through the process. i've definitely learned lessons in ways i could only concur from the deepest subtleties and intricacies.