presents?

only Hachimo (hatchimal) matters?

playing mummy for the four year old. 

Christmas 2016

moments of reflection

It's hard and tearful to know that a milestone occured in our lives at the end of October.  My cousin Banjo was only 39, that's like two and a half years younger than me, a bit young to have left us forever.   We wouldn't be able to witness his talent on stage and hear his laughter again.  His high school alumni class lost one of their pillars and our family lost a very popular member.  It hurts.  He was beguiling as he was kind. He was a shining light.  There are others who project negativity by just merely existing.  But sometimes things happen and we query, we stare in wonder, we shed a tear.  I'm grateful for all his help during our darkest times. Now, we limber, we walk with a stick, a bit more frail than the last time.  

to begin ....

I'm trying to delete photos on my phone. I have to do an album, an actual scrapbook.   I'm going to pursue a project as if I'm not busy enough. 

Is something physical good, or digital is better? 

at the backyard

We have a museum in our backyard, the Royal Air Force Museum.  There are a lot of things to read in the museum, the history of air travel, the story of heroes during times of war and a lot more.  There are actual planes in the building.  Very Cool.  Like most national museums in London, it's free. 

I took a lot of photos and it's crowding my phone's memory, the older one where I usually use for blogging, which contains the official blogger app.  As you know, I like going to museums and libraries.  I'm very lola in my upbringing.  I grew up so introverted despite my mom's good intentions of exposing me to a lot of people.  It's hard going to a party not knowing a soul (I wonder how many times I've mentioned that over the years). My colleague Raffy, using it in the work context, said that meeting other people might be an interesting aspect of life. I'm terribly paraphrasing. I guess I'm too old to change my ways.  Why be in an uncomfortable situation, when I can stay home and read a magazine?  Or tidy up, as I live with a four year old and the hubby exfoliate like a snake? 

cleanse

I'm not on Instagram, the less social media, the better, just for clarity and cleansing.  But sometimes we can't help but take a picture of our food. If it's not posted on any platform it didn't happen.  The one above is called Florentine. It looks good on photo but the vege tastes bitter and I've never been a fan of ampalaya (or amargoso, hurray ilonggo!), though it's a very good vegetable. 

I don't even do selfies, I need a few tweaks on my face in order to gain self esteem, as in really.  Or I need to go for a run in order to gain equilibrium for my health and perspectives.  I've not been looking at my blood results recently.  I've been feeling crap.  According to my friend, Joy from North Carolina (different from Joy, who's now in California, formerly of Baltimore), she has no time for physical fitness as she's too busy with school, kids and work.  But endorphins are good for us, full stop (American English says period).  Our muscles stagnate.  Our organs cannot fathom all the salt and sugar. 

So, although I'm too busy this week, I'm going to try a bit of Zumba, maybe yoga. Let's see if I'll sweat out the toxins.

Tears, sadness

There's no more Miriam.  I remember shortly before I turned 18 in 1992 and there she was running for President. I attended her Bacolod rally and all but I couldn't vote as the election was in May and I was turning 18 in June. I really thought she was going to win. She lead in the beginning and was overtaken, in a dodgy come from behind victory of the eventual 12th President. 

In '95, I wrote only her name in the ballot for senator and left the other slots blank.  Then I lost hope in the national elections when the electorate voted Joseph Estrada into power.  I realised majority of the people don't really like smart guys.  Miriam was too much of a brain -- the grades, the honors, the degrees.  That she  wasn't a bar topnotcher made her at least human.  She mentioned her academic accomplishments whenever she could and of course that turned off a lot of people who maybe couldn't even write a proper sentence.  She had difficulties embracing humility.  For the likes of me who's hardly smart, she could do with the bragging. 

She also sided with Arroyo and Estrada, that was a conundrum.  Edsa 2 didn't exactly transform the Philippines into Singapore. Neither did Daang Matuwid straightened the mess that was the Manila traffic or the National Bilibid Prison.  Maybe she believed she was in full health to run for president and had the son of martial law executor as running mate. Had they become friends as colleagues in the senate? I don't follow the logic of that decision.  But then Philippine politics is hard to follow.  There's always a bottom line. 

What she elucidated in hindsight has always been right, we should change ourselves and make good choices like when given the chance of an education, to strive to excel, or to read books, or to have that moral turpitude.  

It wasn't her destiny to be President.  When I think of Ramos now, I could only think of a place in Taguig. While Madam Miriam became a stellar legislator. She even survived voting against the popular vote in that impeachment process (when my friend Joy texted me, "are you still in awe with Miriam?), during the turn of the millennium which lost her the 2001 election.  But she bounced back in her next two elections I would only view from afar.  She became popular with young people and as a commencement speaker.  I wasn't really into those popular quotes but it made a few laugh and would lighten up events like graduation exercises or tv interviews. 

That is life.  She wasn't meant to reach 72.  She was a colourful character. Ahay. Kasubo guid. 

just a picture

ponder on health

It has been a trying month for my health -- from scans to procedures to symptoms of hypertension, to those pesky blood results and phone calls and correspondence that test emotions. I have a four year old. Nothing is more important than to guide my child through making it to adulthood and to be able to function in society. I'm reconfiguring the lifestyle choices, reducing the carbs and doing more exercise.

thirty-first August

summer blues. 

it has been really muggy. 

this summer

As the little kid gets older, I'm becoming more tired.  I'm more exhausted than last year definitely.  

We've been through the naked truth -- the suicide atrocities in key major European cities,  the Brexit, the war on drugs in the Philippines.  

Can't this be a kinder world, like embodying the flame of the Olympic spirit?

I almost missed the Olympic Games.  And writing about sports gave me a sense of identity in my youth, most of the times elation on cheering the athletes defy gravity in gymnastics or run faster in the tracks. I still watch.  

Sports is not totally relegated to Twitter.  I can't  wait to bring the kid to the stands, in the Spurs or at Wembley for the NFL Europe.  

I would still sadly get sidetracked by reading too much analysis on human behaviour through social media rather than accomplish the house chores, or keep my surroundings neat and tidy. 

As I'm in Regent's Park at the mo, time to go home. Oh wait, the little girl wants to do more climbing! 

Move, move, pls.

July has been really hot.  There are a lot more people in the streets and I have to go out and mingle.  And I'm not good talking to people.  I have a long list of work to do and all I've accomplished is procrastinate.  It's educational to watch vloggers documenting their lives.  But I have to set priorities.  The clothes won't iron themselves.  The carpet does not self-clean daily.  Plus the 14 year old vloggers I stumbled upon on this period of dilly-dallying should really concentrate on schoolwork. 

My baby is four!

My little girl is already four.  There's nothing more stressful than preparing for her birthday party.  All the behind the scenes to create the perfect day are too stressful, like the search for the perfect cake, creating the guest list, the party games that go bust as kids and their parents don't come at the same time and can't concentrate, the food, the myriad of presents, the weather, the decorations and the theme, even the rubbish.  But that's me, I have to clean up afterwards in my lonesome. 

But as long as my pretty baby is basking in her moment, is the most important element.  The hard work pays off once you see her smile and enjoy the day with her ate Lourdes and her friends. 

This year, I've learned not to order cake with fruits on it. It should be eaten on the day but it was so huge and the grapes and strawberries absorbed the flavour of chocolate. Who can eat a huge cake on the day?

My guest list is ok, I don't really need to reconfigure much.  But let's see. 

beauty vlog

Rather than watch the telly (sky + netflix, that's loads), I'm now into you tube channels and following vlogs.  These young people with their high tech cameras documenting their lives are so adept in filming.  Most of these vloggers  in their early twenties, are young enough to be my kids, if I was a teenage mom. They were raised in the google generation.  The 80's are a figment of their imagination. But here I am sucked into the vortex of their lives.  I like the one-man production team and being their own bosses appeal of these reality shows. The beauty vloggers do make up tutorials. They make shopping into the most mundane of shops useful.  They do product reviews. Some forums reckon collaborating with brands and getting sponsored content for their channels mean superficiality and lack of integrity but it's a another medium of advertising and marketing.  It's great to work on your own, answering to no one. 

Speaking of product reviews, they've done a good job advertising face masks. 

So I'm using face masks (like the one above), rejuvenates my skin. 

 I like ttravel vlogs and the hotel room tours as well.  I like them better than the travel shows with all the shebang productions.   Or just watch them do and talk nothing. It's free content, as long as I like the vlogger or you tuber. It's very showbiz -- rivalries, cat fights, competition. We can choose or change our minds. 

solstice '16

Taking a photo while strutting the groove, I would always miss the solstice. 

discipline

So on my birthday, I did nothing.  Like today, on my dad's birthday, I didn't find groove in tidying all the mess.  A contemporary says I'm bulging into obesity. Aaargh!  My full length mirror lies to me every day and I still eat carbs. 

C'est la vie. 

Now, back to tidying the mess in every nook. 

birthday boy

The hubby has to work on his birthday and it's also my work week, so we make do with the tiniest bit of celebration. 

I couldn't find any decoration. Maybe a picture of the cake later. 

So, high school ...

I went back to Bacolod for our high school class Silver Jubilee during April and a day in May.  It's definitely tiring.  But I love the tradition of keeping touch with the huge influences of our youth.  It's such a Filipino thing.  It's fun to reminisce, to journey through time but at the same time, thumping on how a few of the guys age.  However some are forever youthful. Was it the moisturiser?  My hunch is the disposition.  Those who smile more, are more gregarious and generous, are blessed not only with good looks but good fortune.  

My regrets in high school boils down to focus.  I should have dug deeper to the core of my cerebral cortex and worked harder in order to have conquered the science of numbers and calculations.  I should have ignored the call of the pheromones.  I realised too late that it's such a waste of time to think of crushes, of people who will never like you back when there is some studying to do.  One could pursue the lure of coupling a decade after high school.  Of course, that wasn't the only reason my grades were so low in Maths and the Sciences.  There might be other factors and excuses to my lack of concentration like the nuances of my left and right brain.  

But looking back, I should have read more and studied more, practiced solving equations until I had the desired grades.  The extra-curriculars weren't so bad, hobnobbing with the class of a thousand and a hundred lessen my tendency to be mute and shy when I faced strangers.  But it wasn't so bad really, our class historian mentioned me in her year book essay.   Although the said uber-intelligent class historian in question is nowhere to be found in social media or answer the call of her alumni group i.e. she did not make contact.

The laws of teenage attraction might be a normal process in the emotional development of an individual. I should have taken the hint on a particular moment that the time I spent thinking on that attraction was for naught. There were grades in Junior and Senior years that were very important and most of the subjects dealt on a high degree of concentration on solving complicated equations. I would have felt better about myself knowing I wouldn't have trepidation when it comes to academic problem solving. 

The academe of numbers might have been my past but it's my daughter's future.  She would need the guidance with school.  I might not have done well in Sir Abrigo's Physics but I did ok in his Biology class and for such a gifted person, he was no longer with us during our Teachers Tribute at Sugarland Hotel. 

 

to Bacolod and back

Back and forth, traveling from airport to airport, I was in Bacolod with the family for my High School Silver Jubilee.  It was a little bit more than two week stay, excluding being on planes and airports for three days. Incheon is such a cool airport, although we didn't have a booking for the lounges and airport hotels, the benches are quite cozy.  

Traveling and going home to Bacolod with child changes the dynamic of the holiday experience.  We really should travel more often to the Philippines to have a gauge of the transfers, the queues, the intricacies of the contents of the luggages, the beaches, the never-ending home repairs, the donations, the car-rentals, the restaurants, the tricycles on main roads or national highways, the sidewalk vendors.  There were a few new structures which blighted the view of my childhood.  I've not been home for almost a decade, of course there would be changes to the once minor forestry or the concrete wall with our next door neighbour (really, neighbours, what you built was really uncool).  

But it's all a learning curve. I've got to make a list and ring a few shops, not to forget to save for the rainy day, and we're good to go. 

seeing airports

I don't mind Incheon airport at all.  Sleek. Well-designed. 

keep 'em coming

It has probably replaced watching a proper tv show, be it drama or comedy. But they fill the void . For a while now,  I make it a habit to watch you tube videos created by people who knows how to make videos. I even view make up tutorials (me? make up?), shopping hauls or a vlogger just walking around a shop or restaurant.  Of course, at my age, it's hard to find a you tuber that is my age and demographic. Because quite honestly, it's difficult to relate to those in their twenties.  I'll be 42 in June, I went to my entire undergraduate life without the internet and submitted my schoolwork with the aid of typewriters.  Since our you tube channel is only known to a few, I'm not a subscriber, I'm just an accumulator in the number of views.  In instagram, I couldn't like, or comment, my views are not counted. Well, I don't have an instagram account.   In you tube, at least I could be in the stats. I'll take that, google. 

end of march, end of cold?

It has been such a prolonged winter.  I couldn't wait for it to be over.  Although I'd rather see people in their freezing gear than flaunting their flesh with their flowy skirts, barbecue shorts and sleeveless shirts for all eternity, nothing beats the feel of not shivering.  The idea of not utilising the radiator provides relief for my suffering monthly bills.  But mostly I get sick during the cold months, I fall ill, I acquire a discomfiting, uncomfortable cough.  And I lost another hat.  And I liked that hat, it's just gone.  

Happy Mother's Day!

6th of March is Mother's Day in the UK this year, it's way too early.  You've got to have trimmings on Mother's Day.  I got flowers, a vase for tiny buds and chocolate cake.  I'm also bed-bound like a geriatric with the cough and temperature. The unforgiving prolonged winter gets to me. Fatigue attacks the immune system.  

hooked on videos

I'm having difficulty with the title of this post.  I don't know how to describe the vloggers I'm currently watching.   I stopped following The Good Wife plot, it's no longer on automatic record, I got exhausted with the stories.  I've not been watching (or reading) the awards season.   After a lifetime of getting excited about the Oscars, I'm not interested this year.  Di Caprio is a favorite but maybe I could watch his speech on a few platforms.  

So I'm binge viewing the make up tutorials, peeking into housewives describing their Botox experience, observe them apply their eye shadows, bronzers, highlighters, etc.  Since I'm 41, I have to stick to my age demographic.  It's all so vacuous.  But addictive?  I'd realize I have to go back practicing crochet.  Witnessing these vloggers shove the camera to their friends and family's faces, is sometimes a cringe-inducing situation. 

I love the artistry though and all the shopping they are doing, products they are reviewing. More later, gtg.

salad?

yes, salad.  but I'm ok with carbs and more carbs.

Happy Hearts Day

My husband calls it Hallmark Day.  I call it symbolic day of love. We should do away with the flowers, the deadly chocolate and the cheesy messages.  We don't need cheesy messages to feel love.  We should show our love all day every day.  Now that last line is cheesy.  

Even I harbor anger and resentment.  I'm definitely not a nice person.  I hate those people who shows attitude whenever they can.  Maybe because they can.  So I completely not talk to them, if it's possible.  Snob them forever.  

Love.

 

take the photo, write the text

I can't wait for winter to be over.  It's so dark and cold.  It's dark outside, it's dark inside. It's cold inside.  Our electric bill is probably flying high due to constant heat use.  The wardrobe needs a few tinkering and reevaluation.  I'm coughing in the middle of phone conversations. I reckon I'm just having some very few steps, moving slow for chores, more on reading rubbish and less on doing worthwhile endeavours.

new month, new day

It's a new year.  January is moving on month.  My mom whose birthday is January nine, featured in one of my brothers shoutout. She would have been 70.  If she's still here, her opinions would still be her opinions.  She read a lot. She was up to date with political issues.  She was creative. I scan through my baby book and I'm still pretty amazed by the numbers, facts, figures and anecdotes contained in the memorabilia.

I don't really do resolutions. I wouldn't be able to remember anything.When I think of all these new gadgets and celebrities I couldn't fathom the changes on board.

At 41, I'm in a new demographic.  Mid-life?  Mid-cough?  I think of the weather

and grrrr.