in dire need of endorphins

I couldn't recall a bleaker January in all my years in the Western Hemisphere. The cold breeze, and constant rain seem shattering to the very core of both flesh and spirit. It's not quite the polar vortex. But it's nippy and it shoots up the energy bill, which is a fortune and ruins the budget for the season.

As the ads on the telly and the features on free magazines splurge on travel, I couldn't join in the revelry of huffing and puffing with a backpack. Maybe when there are a few gold coins stashed away and necessary time off available, I'll think of the beach in January. Not this year though. Maybe next year, if I won't eat the rest of 2014.

It will be warmer, soon. I find it more inspiring when it's warm. I could think better. Maybe my little girl would give me some leeway and allow me time and space to read more books, I wouldn't stress so much on cultural differences. But I would still moan and sweat on the tiny, tiny stuff.

light post, light blog

These are Pie's photographs, her copyright. She allowed me to use them, with so much kindness, to light up this page. So belated happy January birthday, Pie!

Food photo blogging like fashion blogging or beauty blogging is maybe, feathery but it illuminates pages hence sparkling to the eyes, easy to the emotions. Unlike political, highly-contentious pieces, not dredging too deep blurts out the drama, the labyrinthine, equivocal aspect of life. Even our daily routine or appointments we regularly attend, described in detail, reads heavy. Whilst the colours within the ingredients, make - up and clothes permeate happiness. Despite the stress and struggle, we always, at least aspire to be happy, and content.

I find massive difficulties rummaging through the gossamer aspect of food and fashion or any lifestyle fare. But it would be nice to try, less burden, good for the heart.

January Nine anew

Today is my mom's birthday. I haven't been to her grave in years. I haven't been home for years. I miss our pop culture discussion. I haven't met anyone who is as smart, beautiful and well- read as she was in all dimension.

Most people I know don't read as much as she did and I would find it refreshing to be in an environment composed of friends who dissect the issues and the turmoils that affect our existence. I know what she'll say about the calamities, political storms or the kernels with the family. I wonder what she'll make of Twitter. A few broadcast too much maelstrom in their lives. She had great appreciation for significant achievement.

She did a lot of multi-tasking which proved catastrophic to her health. If only she'd tackled her chores slowly, in contemplation, she would still be here. But as days go by and age is becoming just a number, I appreciate now more than ever, her many enduring qualities.

a sigh, a big sigh

I have plans for my dirt poor January existence. The month where it is still dark at 7am and we're short on loose change.

If hibernating and staying indoors is a good strategy then that would be the scenario. But then I've done that in 2013 and not necessarily 2012 (there was after all the Olympics) and I'm still left bereft of motivation to organise the compartment in a neat and orderly fashion. In terms of reading, I haven't finished a paperback and the free papers are stacked in a corner for weeks before I have the chance to scan through the articles.

Probably, I would lessen my web trawls but it is through lurking on Google that we learn in depth about facts and figures. But knowing that the West mostly view my people and sometimes my continent with derision, I just have to live and exist, I can sense that through waiting for replacement buses when the tube is closed for engineering works on a rainy weekend or just by hobnobbing with friends and family in general or simply picking up the pervading attitude when talking to people. Racial bias exists, whether in a busy metropolis or in a sleepy town along the commuter belt.