syntax diaries

a couple of days ago, i was turning the pages on the series of reflections i wrote almost five years to the day. marked by a scruffy banbury educator, the penmanship wasn't pleasing to the eyes as always. i couldn't spell teetering and i also typically crafted my unfamiliar brand of metaphors. it wasn't my fault that the marker didn't know the etymology of picaresque, or how the word was used in the context of my sentence. there was also a note of reprimand for the extra writing i was doing on the side (how i miss those idyllic extras). rewinding back, we also did one presentation in those two heyday weeks of english language lectures where i couldn't get words out and was shaken all throughout my talk.

during the one-on-one interview with that same banbury teacher days later, i used an awkward term to describe my "mumbling and shaking" and he said "i haven't heard of that word, " not even providing a few synonyms for the phrase and dismissing me just like that as if he couldn't be bothered. checking resources thereafter, it was clearly a fine adjective to describe my below par presentation. scruffy marker also didn't concur with the high marks i got from the head lecturer. his assessments completely shattered my confidence and i've never recovered from that tumble. eight more weekly lectures followed afterwards and a new teacher was added to the group. tall and willowy, named after one of shakespeare's most famous heroines, she described the harry potter films as " too hollywood," and that she could only have affinity with european cinema. miss capulet was so high up in her lofty perch and that the blockbusters couldn't penetrate her innate snobbery. i just thought she was being haughty.

reading page after page, my writings weren't all that awful, knowing i scrawled them in a hoof. how i've changed since those uncluttered weeks. those were the good old days. i miss some simple camaraderie. but as my mom always reminded me, read to escape the hurt. don't forget to write.